The kitchen was silent, save for the hum of the refrigerator and the heavy breathing of Arthur, who was currently locked in a psychological battle with a glass bottle of Heinz.
He gripped the bottle with both hands and gave it one final, Herculean shake. In an instant, the vacuum seal didn't just break; it surrendered. A pressurized jet of crimson exploded from the neck, bypassing the burger entirely.
A arc of red paint-balling across the white tiled backsplash.