by Cavetown (the musical project of Robin Skinner ) is a deeply intimate exploration of mental health, vulnerability, and the exhausting effort required to maintain relationships while struggling with self-loathing. Released as the sixth track on the 2020 album Sleepyhead , the song is actually a re-recorded and refined version of his older track "I Promise I’m Trying" from the 2015 EP Nervous Friends // Pt. 1 . Origins and Personal Meaning
: Skinner has shared in livestreams that he originally wrote the song for his mother during a period of significant mental health struggles. He used the lyrics to express his fear that his struggles might make him difficult to love or that his mother might not "like" the version of him he was becoming.
The emotional peak of the song lies in its chorus, which shifts from internal struggle to an external plea for patience:
: The lyrics "I've never hated myself more" are balanced by the gratitude for a friend or loved one who is still "trying" to be there.
: The opening lines describe trying to "form these feelings into cubes" and sort them in his mind. This highlights a desperate attempt to make sense of overwhelming emotions, separating "negative thoughts" from "happy things" just to function.
The song’s core was born from a place of fear and a need for reassurance.
: Lines like "I'm trying to shout but no sound comes out" emphasize the isolation of mental illness—knowing you need help but being unable to bridge the gap to reach others. The Central Message: "I Promise I'm Trying"
